Hot and Dangerous
by XCourtneyXGearsX
Summary: Well, that's certainly a nasty shock! You can't believe she's here! Too bad she's only the first. Things are about to get a lot more interesting. And what's a Galalanian?
1. Chapter I: Glitter On My Eyes

**Inspired by Mimi's Born This Way, here is my own series, Hot and Dangerous. Takes place during Ratchet and Clank 1, and will continue through the whole series. Here's her profile:**

**Name: Berri McKnight**

**Age: 15**

**Gender: Female**

**Likes: Technology, makeup, dark colors, video games, pop culture, shopping, showing off, flirting, dissing others, modern objects, diets, water, skin care products, and winning.**

**Dislikes: Kill joys, school, know-it-alls, old stuff, anything that looks bad (she buys technology just because it looks good), losing, when her hair frizzes, rain because it ruins her hair, makeup, and her clothes, when she's the one getting dissed, when her skin breaks out, when a piece of her technology breaks, and when a game is damaged.**

**Appearance: Black "Scene" hair (poofs out) with light blue and pink streaks, "cat-tail" heavy eyeliner, light blue and pink eyeshadow, wears a Blood On the Dance Floor t-shirt, skinny jeans where one leg is black and the other is purple, dark purple pumps. She also wears red lipstick and has pale skin. Her eyes are green. She is small, but very curvy and weighs 105 pounds. She has a black beauty mark on the left side of her mouth.**

**What She Carries: Her iPhone, iPod touch, Sweetheart Eye Shadow palette, red lipstick, black eyeliner, a black skull mirror, hairspray, a hair brush, a little bag of toilet trees, a tube of roll-on pink color, black mascara, a mini thing of nail polish remover, a nail file, and her Axe Anarchy For Her.**

**Personality: Something of a bad girl brat. She's very vain, and cares a lot about her appearance. She never leaves the house without makeup, both in her bag and on her face. She takes about three hours to get ready. She is a pop culture junkie, and loves all things modern and black. She is a video game addict, and her most recent favorite game is Ratchet and Clank: All 4 One, although she hasn't finished it yet.**

**Bio: An only child of a rich family, Berri has it all-looks, money, friends, everything she's ever wanted, and as many boyfriends as she could handle. However, when she's sent to the first Ratchet and Clank game, she finds herself attracted to someone who's technically an alien-Ratchet and joins him and Clank to stop Drek. **

**Chapter I: Glitter On My Eyes**

"_Wear them gold and diamond rings-all them things don't mean a thing. Chaperones and limousines, shoppin' for expensive things."_

_ -_Fergie, "Glamorous"

When your alarm goes off in the morning, "Just a Dream" by Nelly from Q105, you just roll over and listen for a minute. You may prefer the Sam and Christina version, but Nelly's is still good. Finally, you sit up and switch it off. You turn and get into your black slippers that were waiting for your feet on the side of your four-poster, black and midnight blue canopy bed (it even has a little step ladder). The maid will come by later and fix your covers, fluff your pillows, and leave a mint and your favorite half-coffee, half-hot chocolate next to your lamp.

You head to your bathroom and get into the shower-shampoo, conditioner, and a ton of anti-frizz products. You get out, and slip into your lacy black bath robe. You turn on your hair dryer, fluffing your hair and then you turn it off and plug in your flat iron. While you wait for that to heat up, you go back into your bedroom and open the doors to your massive walk-in closet. One side is tops, the right has the bottoms, and below both sides are your shoes (the left has Prada, the other pumps from Hot Topic), and on the left top shelf has your Dooney and Burke purses and on the other side your Gucci.

You smile, and pick out your favorite BOTDF shirt (the Ima Monster one) you got from Hot Topic, and pick out the almost-matching skinny jeans, the pair that are half black, and the other leg is dark purple. You pick up your purple, 5-inch pumps and go back into your bathroom. Your "jet black, diamond hair" is all dry, so your baby blue and light pink streaks are back to their usual color. You tease your hair and spray it, smiling at your reflection. You start your ProActive thing-cleanser, toner, repairing treatment, daily oil control, and your moisturizer-and now your face feels all nice, soft, and completely clear.

You change into your clothes, and set about your makeup. Light pink eyeshadow on your lids, then baby blue up from the crease to your brow; you add heavy black eyeliner around your eyes, on the lid, and in tails to the ends of your eyebrows. You don't need blush or mascara; you already have color to your cheeks and your eyelashes are very dark and long. You don't wear face makeup. You don't need it, and it would cover up your Marilyn Monroe beauty mark.

You slip into your pumps, and start redoing your nails in alternate black and very dark-almost black-purple. For the final touch, you spray on your Axe Anarchy (for Her), add a touch of glitter to your cheek, and take one last look in the mirror.

Drop. Dead. Gorgeous.

Since you still got an hour left, you begin to pack your bag. You don't bother with a backpack; you've got all the money you could ever ask for. Your parents adore you; they'll pay for everything. That's why you never do your homework or study. Hell, you could be a model. You've got the body for it. All you ever need to worry about is what you look like; it's actually more work than most people think. Every day when you get home, you run the treadmill, lift some weights, you drink plenty of water, and once a week you go to the spa-waxing, masks, baths, and when you come out, you're glowing. You spend a fortune on your clothes (at least your parents do).

It's a lot of hard work, but all of the parties, the friends, the _boy_friends-it's all so worth it.

Well, usually, anyway. Like 9/10.

The clicking of your heels hitting the floor follows you when you head into the kitchen. You take your multivitamin and have a few glasses of water. Both of them are good for your skin, which is why you take them.

You don't have anything else to do, so you go into one of the spare rooms. It's for all of the old gaming systems you have. You keep them in here so they don't clash with your 48-inch plasma, PS3, Xbox 360 Kinect, iPad, laptop, and all of that other modern technology you have in your room. You're quite the video game addict; you have been since you were a child. In this room, you keep your Nintendo 64, your GameCube, and your PS2. Your PS Vita is in your room charging on your entertainment stand. You pull up a black bean back chair, and start playing Jak II.

You can't wait until your GameStop trip today. Your PS3 came with Ratchet and Clank: All 4 One, but you haven't gotten too far into it, just after the part where the Z'Grute attacks the city. You don't want any spoilers for the previous games, so you're going to go hit up GameStop for the first one, and so you don't get off track and get any spoilers for the first, you're only getting the first. You've needed to expand your gaming library for a while, anyway; you know, have more than Conker's Bad Fur Day and Mario.

When you hear a knock at the door, you switch off your PS2, and your butler (or nanny, as you call him), opens the door. "Are you ready?" He asks. He's a tall bugger, and if it wasn't for his receding hairline, he'd be cute. He has a wonderful smile, even though he's got no sense of humor.

"Almost," You say with a smile. You get your bag ready; it's black, with the design of an Avril Lavigne skull; you know, heart-shaped eye sockets, a bow, and a heart around the design. You make sure you have everything; all of your makeup, your Axe Anarchy, your hairbrush, and that little purple bag of toilet trees-floss, toothpaste, and a tooth brush. You have your phone and your iPod. That's everything. "I am ready." You smile.

Your nanny leads you out to your Mustang-at least, it will be yours when you can drive. Gawd, why are driving laws so strict? Well…then again, you are totally the type of person to text while you drive, so…maybe you'll just have this nanny of yours drive you around for the rest of your life. It's not that long of a drive to your school, which is actually the size of a college campus. There are seven buildings, a few trees, and it's the architecture of a castle. A school fit for a queen-for you. Queen Berri. It's got a lovely tone to it, doesn't it?

Your nanny pulls up to the curb, steps out, and opens your door. You grab your bag and make sure it's still attached to your shoulder and you get your sunglasses out of your compartment. With a confident smirk, you step out onto the sidewalk; your adoring public awaits.

You've got the ten minutes of homeroom first; attendance is taken, and the morning announcements come on the TV. They just talk about upcoming events, student council stuff, and a few fundraisers. You live in New York City, and your dad makes more than enough money to fuel your shopping habits. In fact, you might drop by the mall this weekend, and pick up some new makeup and clothes from Hot Topic.

The bell rings, and it's time for your first class: geometry. Then you have biology, then computer applications, lunch with your BFFLs, then English, then PE, history, and finally your favorite class music theory and then you go home.

Geometry is terrible; it's so boring, but hey, at least it's Friday. That's always a good sign. Friday, Friday, Friday. Then you go home, get ready for the party tonight, and whenever you get home, you can pass out and wake up ready to deal with any aftereffects of drugs and drinking. A hot shower and some pills (the medicine kind) will help you through any hangover.

Biology is not much better. Your teacher, Mr. Mackles (who's gotta be like ancient from all of the wrinkles and the total lack of hair) drones on and on about cells and how they work. You seriously almost fall asleep; and then he plays a video and then you really do fall asleep…which screws you over when he presents a pop quiz on the video you completely slept through. Oh well, you've failed too much to actually pass biology now, so what does one more failure matter?

During the quiz, you take your phone out and start texting that guy you were talking (and talking) to at that last party. He sends you a smiley and a heart, and you were about to send him a wink when Mr. Mackles catches you. "Berri, phone." He says sternly, not looking up from the papers he's grading on his desk.

You scowl at him. _Stupid old man._ Reluctantly, you put your phone on his desk.

Computer Apps is okay. You're working on that PowerPoint that's due next week. You have to use a bit of everything PowerPoint has to offer, like all of the graphics, transitions, fonts, and colors. You like your teacher Miss Eliz, so you do wanna do your best so her life is a little bit easier. She does let you listen to your iPod Touch when you're doing your work.

Finally, the bell rings for lunch. You save your work, grab your bag, and make a beeline for the lunchroom. You take your black card out, and the boys so nicely let you have the first spot in line. You just buy a small sandwich, because you already got a Monster and an Activia. A small lunch, perfect for keeping a small figure.

You scan the cafeteria, and find your friends by your table in the center, so everyone can look at you. "Berri," Linda calls, waving you over. She's like…your right-hand woman. Linda looks like Tiana from The Princess and the Frog, except she's dressed in red. She's got her curly hair up in a sassy side ponytail. She pats the seat next to her, and you smile, sitting down.

"So how was bio?" Kaitlyn asks, taking a sip of her cherry slushie. She looks like a Disney Princess too, except her hair goes all the way down her back and her eyes are a rich brown. She's a total animal lover, and she volunteers at the shelter.

You roll your eyes and groan. "Terrible. God, Mr. Mackles is so weird and boring. And he took my phone away!" Oh well. You'll just have your mom come down to the school and get it, and you still have Skype on your laptop.

Jenna laughs, looking up from filing her nails. "Texting again?" Her hands were like, made for texting. Small, and with sharp red nails. She does have Disney's Belle's brown hair, but it's in an adorable little pixie cut, and her eyes are blue and wide, like an owl's.

You scoff. "Like you haven't done it before." You take a bit of your Activia and then a sip of your Monster. You guys are always texting each other in class…until you get caught. None of you also ever do your homework. But if you're seriously that bored and really have nothing to do, then you might do some of your English or history homework.

"We still on for the party tonight?" Linda asks.

Oh right, that party at that warehouse downtown. Drinking, loud music, and far away where the cops won't bother you. Good thing too, 'cause guys there bring ecstasy. You might grab a bottle of vodka-Russian blood is defiantly dominant.

You smile. "Totes. Can't wait."

Kaitlyn taps your shoulder. "Be careful, Berri. Remember what happened last time." She warns.

She's right. Your ex-boyfriend, Caspian, made an appearance two weeks ago at your last party downtown. You dumped him because he was too obsessive and controlling. He didn't take it too well. Shame too, because he started out all dark and mysterious, and really sexy. Black hair, big blue eyes, and really a nice build. Really tall. He'd leave red roses that looked like they were from Beauty and the Beast on your window sill. That should've been a red flag, and it didn't even occur to you until after you dumped him that you never even told him where you live. Sadly, you couldn't tell your parents about that little incident, because they'd freak.

You were at a party sitting on that guy's lap (the one you were texting in class today), when he got up to get you a drink. Caspian grabbed you, and he pushed you up against a wall ad tried to drug you with a shot laced with something.

Lucky for you, Linda was like five feet away and saw the whole thing. Before she made a move, Luke beat the shit outta him. Somebody (you think the bartender) called the cops, and the place cleared out. Everybody who was still there were the ones that had watched the whole scene, and ratted out on Caspian, and you haven't seen him since.

Still, just in case, you guys set up some rules. Use the buddy system, go to the bathroom in groups, and _never leave each other alone_. You take turns about who's not allowed to drink at each party, so somebody's sober enough to drive or call for help should the need arise. Cell phones must be on person at all times. Luke, Dimitri (Kaitlyn's boyfriend), and Dustin (Jenna's boyfriend) or at least one of them need to be present, sorta like a bodyguard. If one of any of these conditions aren't met, none of you go. It's for safety.

And from the looks of it, everything's a green light for tonight. You need to feel happy. Your life has gotten…stressful. That's one way to put it.

The bell rings, and it's time for another dose of almost-daily almost-complete-hell.

Music theory is the only class you really enjoy. You love your teacher Miss Millers-she loves to joke, and she really knows how to actually make school fun. You always do all of the homework and ace the tests. You never get anything lower than an A in her class.

You hand in your homework in the inbox on her desk, and take your seat. Miss Millers stands up, and says, "Class, I hope you studied, because this is not an easy test." The rest of the class groans, but you just smirk, more than ready to take it. You actually bothered to study.

It is a really easy test…for you, anyway. You just needed half an hour (it was like 50 questions), and you hand in your test. You probably got a couple wrong like you always do (it's seriously only normal), but you know you aced it. You can't wait to get your test back. The rest of the hour passes by, and everyone else who hasn't already done so is forced to hand in their test if they don't wanna stay after school. It's nice to have music theory at the end of the day; it gives you something to look forward to.

You get up to leave so you get home and get ready for the party, when Miss Millers calls, "Berri." You turn your head towards her, and she gestures for you to come over as the rest of the class leaves.

You don't need to catch a bus. You aced the test and you actually did the homework. You can't be in trouble with her, and you can't exactly just run away. "Yes, Miss Millers?"

"Berri, I saw your report." Oh, shit. This is not a pleasant conversation, especially with her. She always looks so disappointed. "You did so well last year. I don't know what happened." Yes, she does. She knows exactly what happened; it was all over the news. "My class is the only one you did better than a 70 in. You're a smart girl, Berri. I don't know why you don't do better." Liar, liar, _liar_. Everyone knows why; that's why no one looks you in the eye.

You know exactly what happened. It was all your fault. It you hadn't been so stupid, it wouldn't have happened. You sigh. It's really none of her business. And honestly, what can she do? Nothing can change the past… "Don't worry about me." You say sternly. "Really. It's nothing."

"I know it's not nothing. Berri, I'm sorry about what happened, but you can't let grief control your life."

Things get quiet and eerie, until you turn away. Then things get cold. "It's not grief, it's guilt." She doesn't say a word as you shut the door behind. You stand there for a few minutes and soon enough, your nanny pulls up to the curb and opens the door for you. You get it, and you're silent the whole way home.

"_I got problems up to here, I got people in my ear, telling me these crazy things that I don't wanna know."_

_ -"Glamorous", Fergie_

After getting home, you toss your bag onto your dresser, and start looking at your makeup. Still perfect. Your clothes and hair are more than fine too.

You call your nanny, who responds that he was already on his way to the car. You smile and run down the stairs, ready for GameStop. They always have time for a pretty girl like you! It's a short drive, but it's not short enough for you and your impatient self. You head to the stand that has the PS2 games and luckily, it's still in alphabetical order. You scroll through and find Ratchet and Clank 1.

You head to the counter, and take out your black card. The guy seems surprised; most girls like you don't exactly come in dressed like that and pay for a $6.99 game with a credit card. Nonetheless, you swipe in through, he puts your game in the bag, and your receipt comes out. You smile and wave goodbye before getting back into the car and start the drive home. You toss the bag into the recycling, put the receipt in your wallet which you toss onto your dresser, and put the game next to your PS2 in your old games room.

Since you still have time to kill, you log onto your Facebook, and update your status.

_Going to a sweet party tonight. ;)_

You check your Youtube for any new collegehumor videos, and then your Tumblr for any updates on Lollipop Chainsaw or any funny pictures. Nothing really that interesting.

You make sure to have an empty stomach, but you do fill up on water. Best way to deal with a hangover: drink plenty of water before you get drunk, and drink plenty of water after you get drunk.

After six o'clock rolls around, you head down the spiral staircase, more than ready to get wasted and high as you head into the kitchen. You're stunned to see your parents standing there, blocking the door.

"Berri," You are the spitting image of your mother. You've got all of her features, including her small nose and pale skin. "We know you've been looking forward to this party," You suddenly panic that she won't let you go. This party is all you've been talking about for the past week. You really don't want to have to sneak out. It'd piss your parents off, not to mention, ruin your clothes, hair, and possible your makeup too. "And we won't stop you, but…be careful."

You smile, relieved and your fear deflates like a balloon. No need to sneak out. Though, it would've been great for your image… "I will."

Your father, tall and with Russian facial features says, "And be home before the sun comes up."

You lean up and kiss his cheek, and hug your mom. "Don't worry, I will." They smile, obviously feeling better with your promise to be careful and to be home before dawn, and you disappear into the night, closing the door behind you.

You get into the car, and the engine revs up when your driver puts the pedal to the metal. You start thinking that maybe you should've asked your mom to borrow her phone. You don't have yours, and that is one of the rules…but really, as long as Caspian's away, and you stay with your friends, you'll be fine. _They'll all have your phones, there's no reason to worry,_ you tell yourself.

Half an hour later with the lights of the city become more distant and finally not visible as you continue to drive, the car pulls up to the warehouse and you immediately spot your friends and their boyfriends waiting by the door. They grin and wave and you hurry over to meet them.

"You ready?" Kaitlyn asks.

You smirk and nod. "I'm always ready." The thought of not having your phone keeps nagging at you in the back of your mind. Nothing a bit of drinking and drugs won't fix.

You stroll on in, and it feels like every heard in the room turns to look at you. Music makes the walls vibrate and smoke and glitter cover the floor. There are glow sticks and rings and neon pink, blue, and green lights. It's like an underground rave. There are couches and tables, and singing, screaming, shouting, and laughing.

You smile, and enjoy the stares. Really, how could anyone not look? You're gorgeous; designer clothes, perfect makeup, and an intimidating stare that says "Don't fuck with me."

You need this, more than usual, with Miss Millers' words circling around in your head. Caspian has seriously thrown you out. You head for the mini-bar in the corner of the warehouse. The guy behind the counter smiles, says a "hey Berri", and hands you an apple martini; he knows it's your favorite. You smile, and walk away, looking for that guy with the ecstasy. You spot him in the corner, hidden in the shadows away from the lights. You wave to him, and he grins. You walk over to him, and he hands you two pills wrapped in yellow with pink hearts.

Yes.

You can't hear the crinkling of the wrapper as you remove it, and the paper halls to the ground. You wash down the pills with the martini, and soon enough, that airy, empty-heart feeling fills your chest. You feel like you can fly. All of that misery you were feeling is gone. All of the bad feelings-guilt, pain, shame, regret- vanish.

"_First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, and then the drink takes you."_

_ -Unknown_

You feel a hand on your shoulder, and you see that it's Linda. "Berri," She says. She hasn't had anything yet; you can tell, because you can't smell alcohol on her breath. You laugh, that empty "I'm-obviously-on-drugs" laugh that doesn't mean anything except that you're high. "Berri, this isn't the way to deal with things. I know what happened hurts, but drugs and drinking aren't the answer."

You latch onto her shoulder and cackle out, "How do I feel this good sober?" It's from that song that you can't really remember right now. But you don't want to hear any of that crap right now. You've heard it too many times today. You stumble away from her, and collapse on a couch. You look up to see Linda sitting there, with her boyfriend standing close by. You can count on her, huh? You really should trust her more.

_I don't wanna be the girl who laughs the loudest,_

_Or the girl who never wants to be alone._

_I don't wanna be that call at four o'clock in the mornin',_

_'Cause I'm the only one you know in the world that won't be home._

_Ah, the sun is blindin'._

_I stayed up again._

_Oh, I am findin',_

_That's not the way I want my story to end._

_I'm safe up high, _

_Nothing can touch me,_

_But why do I feel this party's over?_

_No pain inside, _

_You're my protection._

_But how do I feel this good sober?_

_I don't wanna be the girl that has to fill the silence._

_The quiet scares me 'cause it screams the truth._

_Please don't tell me that we had that conversation,_

_'Cause I won't remember. _

_Save your breath,_

_'Cause what's the use?_

_Ah, the night is callin',_

_And it whispers to me softly, "Come and play."_

_But I am fallin',_

_And if I let myself go,_

_I'm the only one to blame._

_I'm safe up high,_

_Nothing can touch me._

_But why do I feel this party's over?_

_No pain inside,_

_You're like perfection._

_But how do I feel this good sober?_

_Comin' down, comin' down, comin' down,_

_Spinnin' 'round, spinnin' 'round, spinnin' 'round,_

_I'm lookin' for myself sober._

_Comin' down, comin' down, comin' down,_

_Spinnin' 'round, spinnin' 'round, spinnin' 'round,_

_Lookin' for myself sober._

_When it's good, then it's good, it's so good 'til it goes bad._

_'Til you're trying to find the you that you once had._

_I have heard myself cry 'never again',_

_Broken down in agony, just tryin' find a friend, oh, oh._

_I'm safe up high, _

_Nothing can touch me._

_But why do I feel this party's over?_

_No pain inside,_

_You're like perfection._

_But how do I feel this good sober?_

_I'm safe up high, _

_Nothing can touch me._

_But why do I feel this party's over?_

_No pain inside, _

_You're like perfection._

_But how do I feel this good sober?_

"Berri," You've been lying on the couch, just thinking about the words and the pain and the suffering, when Jenna's voice reaches your brain. "Berri, it's starting to pour. And you said you had to be home before the sun comes up right?" You must've been spouting out everything that happened today, including your father's order to come home before sunrise. "Well, it'll be hard to tell when sunrise is or was, and I think you need to get home." Wow, Jenna's there for you too? You never knew…

She grabs your hands and pulls you to your feet. She gives you a stern look. "Berri, we heard you yell out that you didn't have a phone on you. You could've asked your mom or your dad to borrow one of theirs. You broke one of the rules, Berri. What if something bad had happened?"

You give a drunk laugh, and say, "D-Don't worry so much Jenna. See? I'm fine."

Kaitlyn (when did she get here?) rolls her eyes. "Berri, if we hadn't been here watching over you, you probably wouldn't be. This place is out of drugs and booze already; you're wasted and high, and we're all going home."

You giggle. "Okay."

Linda grabs your head and then an umbrella that was by the door. She springs it out, and it keeps you dry while she sends a text. "Good thing I got your nanny's number, after last time." Oh right. She put her nanny's cell phone number into her phone, just in case you didn't have your phone. In a few minutes, your nanny pulls up in his sleek black car, and you get into the back with Kaitlyn's help. You see their parents' cars coming up too. You look into the mirror, and your eyeliner and eyeshadow is all over your face in streaks. You were crying. You'll wash your makeup off in the morning, screw it. Your skin will survive.

You fall over on your back and pass out.

You wake up about half an hour later, and stumble out of the car and up the stairs, tripping a few times on your heels and wet from the rain. It's starting to lightning outside. You're not tired…you're in that hazy state between being hungover and still drunk, so you go into your old games room and plug into your PS2. Ratchet and Clank is there where you left it; it's storming terribly outside. The wind is howling through the trees, the rain is slamming against your windows, and a bright light flashes in the sky. You should be sleeping; it's after midnight. And you really shouldn't be messing with anything metal when it's lightning outside, but you've been doing things you shouldn't all night, haven't you?

You turn it on, but nothing shows. You curse, not remembering to keep your inside voice when you shout out, "Goddamn piece of shit!" You honestly don't care if your parents hear you; really, who gives a fuck? Your life is already spiraling downwards anyway.

You pull on a plug just as light flashes outside, and you a hot, white, agonizing pain go through your left arm (since you are a leftie), and knock your forward, the pain spreading through your entire body. Everything goes black for a few minutes and it feels like you're spinning around when you finally come to. Since when were you standing…?

Wow, you're really drunk. You defiantly passed out, because you're not in your room. You're standing on the side of some facility, with giant robots that look like the one from _The Jetsons_ popping out and going down a conveyer belt. You're so dizzy and disoriented. Yep, you're still drunk.

"Ma'am, are you alright?" A little voice asks. Now you're 100% positive you're still high. You see Clank standing below, coming up around your knee.

You smile and nod, "Yeah, just a little disoriented." You hear a noise behind you, and you turn to see some little robot. What is that? You and Clank walk over to investigate, and you don't know what the hell to think of what you saw. It's just…too messed up, even by your standards. And you do some messed up things.

Clank puts the robot away in his compartment, just as one of the giant security robots is standing over you. You certainly can't fight, and neither can Clank (as far as you know anyway), so as Clank slides between his legs, you go around him while the robot is distracted. You head down the metal slide (which is more painful than it sounds), screaming…really loud. You land behind Clank in some ship, and since neither of you have any fucking idea just what the hell is going and don't have any better ideas, he presses a button and starts it up.

The ship takes off, with two others close behind. God, you wish you knew how to pilot this damn thing! Clank seems okay-he avoids the first two couple of shots (you could use a shot)-but they must've locked onto you, because one of them fires, and doesn't miss. You smell smoke and fire, and you resume screaming as the ship spirals towards some planet.

Well, at least you're drunk and this is all a dream. Just a dream. Just a dream.

The ship and the ground finally collide, and everything goes black once more; all you register is someone's voice saying something, and the smell of smoke and fire, which brings back _the worst memories…_

**Okay, so that's chapter one. It's 12 pages long, and over 5,000 words. I should feel proud of myself; I do prefer really long chapters. So yeah, this is gonna be a mature story, and it's defiantly PG13, rated T for teen, whatever you wanna call it. Unless you're in high school, you really shouldn't be reading this. But hey, do what you want.**


	2. Chapter II: Designed to Kill

**Well, here's the new chapter! Thanks to Tina Tissue for her review, and good, because not likeable is what I was going for. And nope, Caspian only plays a small role in her trauma, but you won't find out what the cause of drinking and drug habits are until Love Sucks, the story that takes place during A Crack in Time. Thanks to Chimeran Conduit and S.R.J.S. Fangirl from PL5 for their reviews as well! C: Anyway, here's the second chapter.**

**Chapter II: Designed to Kill**

**Your POV:**

You wake up more than a little disoriented. You've got a screaming headache-it feels like there's a banshee in your brain-and you can feel the eyeliner build up and water in your eyes. That's right; you didn't take your makeup off last night. You take your eyeshadow compact out of your bag and flip it open. You seriously look like a raccoon. There's a sink and some rags over there. You're lying on a dingy green couch that's rough on your skin in what looks like a garage. There's a fridge and some counters.

You wash your eyeliner and of all of the glitter off your face. You don't know which door leads to the bathroom, and you bathed last night, so…you just need your mirror and your makeup. And since you've still got the smell of fire and smoke on your clothes, your Axe Anarchy too. You sit back on the couch and reapply your eyeshadow, eyeliner, and mascara so you've got your color and cat eyes back. You fortunately didn't get any scratches or burns from the crash, and you should be thankful that nothing's broken. You're okay. You spray yourself with Anarchy and you're ready to go, after giving your hair a long brush.

The color has returned to your face. You were crying a lot, from the amount of eyeliner that was spread across your face. The alcohol and the ecstasy have worn off. Now you've got that hollow feeling in your chest. You sigh, trying to recollect your thoughts. Where are you, anyway? It's…a really dusty place. But you need to find somebody; you can't just stay here. You walk outside, and you hear some noise, something you'd hear out of a car shop. It's that drill sound.

You follow it, and you find some yellow fuzzy thing with giant ears like a cat's wearing jeans-as in, just jeans and no shirt or shoes-working on his ship.

Okay. Don't panic, you tell yourself. Everything is fine. You're alive-no wait, maybe you overdosed or died of alcohol poisoning-maybe you're dead. You…you must be. You have to be. That's why you don't have any scratches, bruises, or burns from the crash. There's just no other way. So your drug and drinking habits have finally killed you. Or maybe you electrocuted yourself from messing with metal during a lightning storm. Well. So this is heaven.

So that must be Jesus.

Hm. Looks like his abilities were a little exaggerated. Still, even if he is…whatever he is, he's cute. Wow, Linda would've punched you in the face if she had heard that, after what happened with Caspian.

"_Love at first sight is possible. Just be sure you're seeing clearly."_

_-_Unknown

You look over, and you see Clank, arms and legs sunken into their sockets, and he looks…unconscious on the platform he's on. "Clank," You shout, and the yellow fuzzy creature yells, getting your attention back as he picks himself up off the ground. Wait, is that Ratchet? Okay, now you _know_ you're dead. You're actually kind of relieved.

"Hey," He says. He looks you up and down, and raises an eyebrow. He asks, "You from around here?" You shake your head, still a little bit surprised. He raises an eyebrow. "What are you, anyway? I've…never seen anything like you before."

"I'm a human." Hey, that's right. Qwark was the only person that looked even remotely human, and you're not even entirely sure he is one. Everyone else you've seen on screen has had fur and a tail, has been a robot, or an alien of some kind. No for-sure humans. So you're all alone here. You feel so special!

**Ratchet's POV:**

You've seen a lot of weird things on this planet during your life, but she's gotta be the weirdest. The only fur she's got is right above her eyes and on her head. And she's dressed weird. You don't understand the writing on her shirt. That black stuff that was around her eyes looks different; maybe it only looks that way when she's asleep. She's got blue and pink above her eyes now. Must have something to do with her race.

**Your POV:**

"What's your name?" He asks.

Pfft, like you can actually tell him your real name. He'd laugh at you. "I'm Berri Baskerville." You smile. "What about you?"

"Ratchet," So it is Ratchet! Yep, you're dead. You know, he sounds kinda funny. He's got a different voice than from what you heard in All 4 One.

You look over at Clank. He still hasn't woken and moved yet. "Is he okay?"

"I dunno, he looks okay." He does; actually, he looks like he got out of the crash even better than you. No scraps, or burns, or any signs of damage or tarnish to his silver body. You smile. Okay, so you're dead, and you're about to make a new life for yourself-with Ratchet and Clank. This must be before Ratchet met Clank and therefore before All 4 One. So you get to literally experience the games instead of just playing them. Okay, you're cool with this.

But…you are dead, right? But then…how do you have that empty feeling in your chest? And you've still got a pounding headache…and your heart. God, you can feel it beating against your ribcage. You're not dead. Then what the fuck is going on? Wait, if you're not dead-then you must be in a coma. Maybe you stumbled and fell down the stairs while you were drunk. That makes more sense than you being dead anyway-either that, or the Bible was definitely wrong as to what heaven was like. Okay, you're unconscious and probably in the hospital. You'll be fine as soon as you wake up-hell, you're probably just dreaming. You must've passed out on your bed and don't even remember. No reason to freak out.

You nod. "Yeah, he does. He looks like he's gonna be fine." What were you doing before you met Clank? You remember the party, the pills, the booze…your friends found out that you went to the party without a phone on you…they yelled at you while you just giggled…you went home…and then blank. You'll probably remember soon enough. God, when your mom finds you unconscious (if she hasn't already), she's gonna flip her shit. She's never gonna let you do anything ever again, especially if you test positive for drugs and alcohol. But you can sneak out; no matter how much you don't want to, you will if you have to.

But that's for later. You remember that little slideshow robot you and Clank found back at that robot factory. You…God, what are you gonna do? You're just a little human girl. What can you do? And besides, didn't Clank store it away in his little compartment? You'll decide what to do when he wakes up. Maybe you should contact the police or something. You certainly can't do too much about it-you can defend yourself after you told your mom you wanted to do karate after that thing with Caspian (though you never did tell her why; it's not like she asked) so you could do so, but that's it.

You look at Ratchet's ship. It looks like he's spent a lot of time on it. It looks really well put together. "Did you build that?"

"Yep," He looks proud, and since there's no way in hell you could ever do something like that, he should be, especially since he did it by himself. Plus, last time you checked, Clank was the smart one.

You smile. "Is she almost done?" You remember what your dad said when you asked why people refer to cars and boats (and a different kind of ship) as "shes"; he said it's because they're bitchy, needy, and only respond well when you treat them just right.

"Just about." He goes back to working on it, fixing a few loose bolts with his wrench, so you just sit back and watch, because you certainly can't do anything to help him-and he doesn't need help anyway. You reach into your bag and pull out your iPod Touch. Thank God you still have it, and the battery is still pretty good too. You got lucky. You need your music. You start scrolling, and pick out a Blood On The Dance Floor song; they are totally your favorite band. No wonder this isn't heaven; if it was, Dahvie would be here.

_Cheezy, weezy,_

_Pumpkin-peezy,_

_My name is Du-De Deezy._

_I'll get you crunk on the heezy._

_I like them sluts, they're easy._

_I'm chilling with my breezy,_

_She makes me feel so easy,_

_She keeps it really sleazy._

_It gives me the heebie-jeebies,_

_Go on it, good Lordie,_

_I'm about to pop up some fucking models._

_She knows she just can't have it,_

_ But cheating's just her habit._

_I know she's problematic,_

_I want to fix her habits._

_I give into her thrills,_

_As she sinks into kill._

_Every time you talk to me,_

_You never speak the truth._

_I taste your rage,_

_I feel your stare._

_It'll be the death of you._

_You're just like a pill_

_Designed to kill._

_Everything you do,_

_Messes with me,_

_Smothering me,_

_Poison goes down._

_I'm on the ground dying._

_Just like a pill_

_Designed to kill._

_I feel good_

_I feel numb_

_I feel high_

_OHHHHH OH! _

_Woah, fucking fucking,_

_Fucking bitches,_

_The mother fucking bitches,_

_The shit talking hoes_

_That don't even fucking know, what!_

_Fuck the drama,_

_Save it for Obama!_

_I don't give a shit_

'_Cause you're gonna get your karma!_

_What, what?_

_I'm so sick of it,_

_All this I'll shit,_

_Vomit so atomic,_

_Make me wanna vomit bitch._

_Vanity mix a little bit of ecstasy,_

_Makes you wanna love me,_

_Makes you wanna fuck me, bitch._

_Every time you look at me,_

_I wanna make you bleed._

_I hate your lies,_

_I want your blood._

_Why won't you ever see…_

_You're just like a pill_

_Designed to kill._

_Everything you do,_

_Messes with me,_

_Smothering me,_

_Poison goes down._

_I'm on the ground dying._

_Just like a pill,_

_Designed to kill._

_Every time you talk to me,_

_You never speak the truth._

_ I taste your rage,_

_I feel your stare._

_It'll be the death of you._

_Every time you look at me,_

_I wanna make you bleed._

_I hate your lies,_

_I want your blood._

_Why won't you ever see…_

_You're just like a pill_

_Designed to kill._

_Everything you do,_

_Messes with me,_

_Smothering me,_

_Poison goes down._

_I'm on the ground dying._

_Just like a pill_

_Designed to kill._

You're too busy jamming out to notice Clank's bright green eyes open, but you do notice when he walks up behind Ratchet, peers at him and his ship, and says, "Interesting." Ratchet yells again (twice in the past ten minutes he's been startled), and he falls backwards. "You're quite handy with your wrench."

Ratchet smiles, dusting off his arm. "You bet. I built that ship with it."

You turn your iPod off, and wrap your earbuds around it. You really do want to conserve the battery. There must be something in this galaxy you can use to charge it. Clank looks back at Ratchet. "Currently, I am in search of someone who could be of assistance in saving the solar system. Do you know where I might find that fellow?" He points to a picture of…Qwark? Yeah, that looks like Qwark. Well, he is the president, so he could help you.

Ratchet shakes his head. "Well, he's on the radio every week, other than that…no. Hey, what's up with all this 'save the solar system' stuff, anyway?" Oh, right! That little robot! God, what is that thing? They have names, right? Why can't they just have PowerPoint?

Clank pops that little robot thingy out of his compartment and it slides open. That's right; your memories of what it contains still make you shiver. This guy is even worse than Hitler! It opens up with this purple guy in a suite. He's got black hair in a ponytail, and his blue eyes don't have pupils, which is why creepy. He begins his little speech again. "Hello citizens of-" The picture slides back to a planet that looks like Earth, but it's labeled Novalis. The pictures slides back to Drek. "My race-the Blarg-have a small problem. Our planet has become so polluted, overpopulated, and poisonous that we are no longer able to dwell here. But I, Chairman Drek, have a solution." The image switches to plans including a drawing of a planet and details to the right of it. "We are constructing a pristine new world using the choicest planetary components available. So what does this mean to you, you might ask? Using highly sophisticated technology-which you couldn't possibly understand-" Bastard. "-We will be extracting a large portion of your planet and adding it to our new one. Unfortunately, this change in mass will cause your planet to spin out of control and drift into the sun where it will explode into a flaming ball of gas, but of course, sacrifices must be made. Thank you for your cooperation." Someone yells "Cut" and Drek adds a little something to the video that he might've not wanted people to see.

"_And if you don't like you take your whiny, sniveling, snot-nosed populations, form a line behind me and kiss my-we're still on? Well, turn it off, you idiot!"_

The robot shrinks itself and flies back into Clank's compartment. "The people on those planets are hosed!" Ratchet says. "Well, good luck getting Captain Qwark to help you." He doesn't sound like he knows who Qwark is-or rather, he knows who Qwark is, but he's never met him in person. So he probably doesn't know who Dr. Nefarious is, either. In fact, he actually looks a bit younger than what you saw in All 4 One. Wow, you must've gone really far back.

"Actually, you could help me. If you could use your ship to take me to these coordinates contained in this infobot-" So THAT'S what that is! Well, that's good to know, because that must be how people get information around. "-I might be able to gather further information there."

"Even if I wanted to, I can't. I'm missing a crucial component of the ship." He looks so…sad and disappointed…it's like looking at a crying kitten. God, you're such a wuss.

Clank stares at the ship, narrows his eyes, and scans the ship. "The Robot Ignition System," A what? You've never felt so stupid in all your life. You don't know anything about this world. You've never been so out of the loop before. This could be a problem later.

"How did you know that?" Ratchet asks. Wow, you're being pretty quiet. You're still kinda dazed.

"I, sir and ma'am, happen to be equipped with the latest in Robot Ignition System. My programming allows me to start any ship I choose." You really should've learned to speak geek when you had the chance.

"So, I agree to take you to…wherever it is…and you get my ship started for me?" Ratchet asks.

"That is what I'm proposing."

You see two more ships land, and maybe that's what pushes Ratchet to his decision-as in, knowing he could be the one piloting and landing a ship instead of just watching other people do it. Ratchet smiles. "Deal."

Clank turns back to you. "Ma'am, are you coming with us?"

You look over at Ratchet and you ask him if it's okay. He smiles and nods. "Yeah, sure."

You smile. "Alright, let's do it." Seriously, what else are you gonna do? You can't just stay around here forever-you could, but…why would you? Especially when you could join Ratchet and Clank on their first adventure! You're bound to wake up some time soon-you wanna enjoy this while it lasts. And besides, Ratchet is too cute.

You board the ship with Clank in the passenger seat, Ratchet, piloting the ship, and you in the back, playing on your iPod. The ship roars to life, and you exit the atmosphere, which is a nasty jolt for you. The planet shrinks as you fly further and further into space.

Ratchet seems overjoyed. "This is great!" He looks out the window, staring at Veldin. "So that's where I've been stuck this whole time!" Oh yeah, and he also took his hands off the steering wheel. It's like that bus driver you had that texted while she drove.

"Please, return your appendages to the steering mechanism, sir."

"Oh, right, sorry." Well, that does make you feel better. "By the way, you can stop calling me 'sir'. The name's Ratchet."

You smile. "And I'm Berri. As in, Berri with an 'i'."

"Please to make your acquaintances."

You raise an eyebrow. "You talk really…formal." You were gonna say funny, but he doesn't talk weird. Just…he talks to you and Ratchet like you're adults. And Ratchet can't be an older than 17. "Where I come from, nobody talks like that anymore."

Should…should you be concerned that Drek will attack Earth? No, wait, that's ridiculous-this is all just a dream. Earth, your friends, and your family aren't in any danger. Everything will be fine. Still…what if this isn't a dream? Earth has everything Drek's new planet could need; plants, water, trees…it's just like that episode of _Jonny Test_. You bite your lip, trying to tell yourself that there's nothing to worry about but…can one really be too careful?

"You got a name?" Ratchet asks Clank.

"My serial number is V543297-" Ratchet presses a button, and you and Clank hit the side of the ship, Clank making that…clank sound when metal hits metal. That did not help your headache. At all. You pout at Ratchet.

"I'll just call you…Clank for short. I mean, that's what you called him, right Berri?" You nod, and then realize…you just influenced the decision of Clank's name. You feel so special, no joke. The three of you approach the new planet. "Hang on."

**Okay, so over nine pages. I love this story already. You'll definitely need to stick around for all of the sequels if you want ALL of Berri's story. I like her story. By the way, yeah, I'll be using a LOT of Blood On the Dance Floor songs, 'cause they're my favorite band EVER.**


	3. Chapter III: :titletoolongtofit:

**So, thanks for all of the reviews you guys. C: Yeah, I seriously can't sleep (don't know fucking why), so here's an update for you. C: And yes, this series WILL take a long time. But so be it. I do love to write.**

**Chapter III: How Could You Be So Heartless?**

**Your POV:**

Since Ratchet completely _sucks_ at landings, he crashes the ship into a cliff, and it explodes, like Ms. Splosion Man. With yells, you and Ratchet fall to the ground-right on your backs. Ouch. So not good for your spine. "Clank?" Ratchet mutters. Oh no, where's Clank? "Where are you?" Of course, your worry fades when you hear what sounds like a muffled "I'm right here" coming from underneath Ratchet. You chuckle as the both of you stand up and Clank gets up from the ground. "Oh, sorry about that," Ratchet says quickly. "Well, we're not leaving the way we came in."

Clank nodded, observing the metal debris. You thought Ratchet would be more upset. He worked hard on that ship. "Perhaps we can procure a ship from one of the inhabitants."

You raise an eyebrow. Is that…bombing? You hear explosions that are somewhat distance, but somewhat not. "You guys hear that?"

Ratchet nodded-no doubt he heard it, his ears are huge. "If there are any left."

You narrow your eyes. "Let's go." Clank hops onto Ratchet's back, and you can hear him shifting around, like a metal backpack.

Okay, so the path to…wherever it is you're going is so not pleasant. You have to waddle through water like a duck, and then swim which not only soaks your clothes but ruins your hair and your makeup, so you once again have pink, blue, black, and glitter around your eyes, and it's dripping down your face. You rub it away on your arm, growling to yourself that you'll fix it the first chance you get. Ratchet turns the bolt crank, and you enter this cave with growing mushrooms-and by the way, it reeks-and…

Then you have to really fight for the first time. Three robots, big, bulky, and yellow, shoot at you. Of course, you do have the sense to get out of the way, but…you don't actually have something to defend yourself with. So, you just let Ratchet take care of them. You'll find a weapon eventually. And then you get to swim-again. And mess up your hair and makeup ever more. Fun. You dive underwater with Ratchet-you don't even like swimming all that much-and it makes you wonder how long he can hold his breath.

You come up with three pools, jump down (completely soaking yourself over and over) and find these two things that look kinda like Yoshi. Ratchet turns the crank again, and it's back under water for you. Good thing you can hold your breath for a long time. You come to another cavern, and with use of the platforms, climb up to a ledge and fight off more of those flying Yoshis. Of course, you have been taking the time to smash the crates. You do know enough about Ratchet and Clank to know that bolts are currency, and you'll need them if you want to buy a weapon.

Fighting off another robot, you jump over the ledge, and Ratchet kills the other one, and you take the elevator platform up to the next level. You come to a door, which means another room with more robots and more elevators. Still, it definitely beats geometry class, right? God, why didn't you take a study hall? It would've eased your suffering. Now that you think about it, there was a lot you could've done to ease your suffering. All of which you caused.

You follow Ratchet through the doors, and you find some weird plumber dude standing there trying to fix something. "Dadblast-it!" He mutters.

Ratchet points at his back. "Look-plumber's crack." You chuckle, but the plumber doesn't seem to find it too funny.

He turns around and snaps, "What did you just say! And what are you laughing at?"

You smirk and say "nothing" while Ratchet says, "I said, look-the plumber's back." You just snort, and listen. God, you need to fix your makeup. Your eyeshadow is probably everywhere and you just know that there's black stuff all around your eyes.

"Alright Wiseguy," The plumber snaps. "Shouldn't you be on one of them escape transports?"

"Escape transports?" Ratchet asks. Hm, you wonder what the safety rules are. You had drills and alarms like once a month at your school and there was safety and emergency numbers and equipment in all of the classrooms, but you never had any escape vehicles.

"News flash: giant robots attacking." The plumber says sarcastically. "The escape transports are taking all the rich folks off this galdarn planet."

"So why aren't you on one?" Ratchet asks.

You nodded. "Yeah, don't plumbers actually make good money?" All of your friends at the tech school the next town over are in auto and plumbing, and once they've been licensed, they'll be able to jobs and earn money. Like, 60 dollars an hour.

"Socioeconomic disparity."

"What?" Ratchet asks.

You raise an eyebrow. "Excuse me, but do you mind talking in a language where I can understand you? As in, speak English!" You say. It's times like this when you wish you had paid more attention in English class. Your mom was gonna put you in SAT prep to expand your vocab, but you are only 15 and still a sophomore.

"He hasn't got enough bolts." Clank explains.

"Well, just say that next time." You mutter, getting a nod from Ratchet.

"Working people have to wait for Captain Qwark to save us." The plumber explains. Well, you have been picking up bolts from destroying enemies.

"Well, got anything worth a lot of bolts?" Ratchet asks. Well, it seems you're on the same wavelength.

He pulls out a disoriented Infobot. "Well, I got this thing-shows two weirdos ditching their ship. It's got coordinates to a desert planet too."

Clank smiles. "An Infobot. Ratchet, Berri, we could use that."

You nodded, pulling your bolts from your bag. You're probably gonna need to get a bigger one. Luckily, the bolts aren't too heavy. And he's only charging 500 for the Infobot. He hands over the Infobot and turns around, sprinting for the pipeline and yells, "Geronimo", like he's going down a water slide. "Did he just slide down a sewer pipe?" Ratchet asks.

"Ew." You mutter, making a disgusted face.

The Infobot splits open, and shows the image of these two green aliens, trying to keep control of their ship. At least, the one at the steering wheel is. The other one is typing away on his phone that kinda looks like your mom's Droid. "Mayday, mayday, this is the solar ship Radical. We seem to be under attack from the planet's surface."

"Relax Skidd," The one on his phone says. "It looks like some kind of fireworks display, probably in your honor." A rocket narrowly misses their ship. You…don't think fireworks could penetrate the atmosphere.

But they're not so lucky this time. Their ship is struck, and stutters, giving a violent shake. Skidd yells, and the other guy snaps, "Pipe down, I can't concentrate!"

"But we've been hit!"

The guy stutters out, "An unexpected detour. When we land, I'll see if I can scan up an exhibition for ya."

"We're not gonna live that long!" A rocket is headed straight for their ship, as in, ready to collide with the windshield.

"Skidd, let's amscray!"

"Eject! Eject!" Skidd yells, pushing a button, and you think you see them eject their ship just before the screen goes to static. The Infobot flies into Clank's compartment.

You snort. "I can't tell who's the stupid one in the relationship." You mutter.

"Did you see that guy on the left?" Ratchet asks. You nod. "That was Skidd McMarx."

"Who?" You ask.

"Does he know Captain Qwark?" Clank asks.

Ratchet shakes his head. "I doubt it. He's a Pro Hoverboarder-always going off about how cool he is. You've never heard of him, Berri?"

You shake your head. "No, see, we don't have hoverboarding where I come from. We've got what we call skateboarding. Your Skid McMarx is my Tony Hawk. He's the most famous skateboarder in the world." He was actually the reason why you learned how to skateboard in the first place.

"It looks like Skidd is in trouble." Clank says.

Ratchet grins. "I'll say! I've never seen him look so freaked out."

You chuckle and nod. "The coordinates said the planet was Aridia. Yay, desert planet." You take out your mirror, and it's even worse. You look like you rubbed cotton candy on your eyes. Not much point in redoing your makeup, since it's probably going to melt off anyway. And it looks like the only way out of here is down that sewer pipe. Wonderful. Yeah, it's been a fun day so far. It actually isn't that bad; it's almost like the slides at Lake Compounce. That place was fun. The pipe takes you out the entrance, which kinda sucks, because that means if you had just taken a different route, you would've been off this planet by now.

"We need to find a ship." You mutter. Only naturally, more robots are waiting for you. You need to find something to defend yourself with-you would just attack them, but you run the risk of breaking your hand. You follow Ratchet up the path, and through a door, after taking out the guard. You get to the bridge, just in time to see somebody blown three huge holes in it. Debris falls to the ground, and the crash shakes the building. "Yikes," You mutter. The jet flies over the bridge, and three more robots land.

After Ratchet takes them out, you proceed to an open field. Good thing no one from school can see this; they would be giving you shit for letting a guy do all of the fighting, when you're always going on about how females are superior to males. Well, you'll scatter metal when you get ahold of a weapon. A drop ship and three more robots come down to greet you. You sigh. This is getting really old, really fast.

After the robots have been turned to scrap metal, an old man with a cane dressed in brown and beige comes walking down the platform. He's got a black mustache, he's bald, and he's also got an Infobot with him. "Don't hurt me, don't hurt me. What are you?" You, Ratchet, and Clank just stare at with wide eyes, like he's grown a second head. "Mercenaries? Torturers? Assassins? I'll tell you anything! Here, take my Infobot, it's all I've got left!"

"Sir, we're not assi-" Clank starts to try and explain what you're really doing here, but Ratchet cuts him off.

"Hold on! Let's see what he's got." You just snort in response.

The image is of Qwark, up against a ledge with some hideous monster. He points his weapon at it, but it doesn't seem to be working. The picture freezes. "Has this ever happened to you?" The image turns to Qwark, standing outside of a building with a robot on the roof that's holding up a wrench. "I'm Captain Qwark, and believe me, there's nothing worse than staring down a Blargian Snagglebeast from the inside and knowing your equipment isn't functioning properly. That's why I come to Al's Robbo Shack-" LOL, Radio Shock joke. "-For all of my electronic needs!" Al's the big (as in, big belly) yellow guy dressed in a labcoat and a green shirt behind the counter. "Al has been my exclusive repair shop for my super-electro gadgets since I was knee-high to a sandmouse. If Al can't fix it, it's not broke. Right, Al?" The camera focuses on Al, who just stutters an "uh". "You said it, pal! So if you're fighting crime, or just fighting grime, come to Al's Robbo Shack in Metropolis for all of your robotic repairs. Al's Robbo Shack! It's Qwark-tastic!"

"Do you know what this means?" Clank asks as the Infobot shrinks itself.

Ratchet smiles and shakes his head. "Yeah, Captain Qwark has really sold out." You chuckle in response. Qwark seems like a total tool.

Clank shakes his head. "No, it means Captain Qwark is on Metropolis! We could tell him about this invasion…"

"If we had a ship." Ratchet says.

The old man has just been spacing all this time, and now, he finally chooses to speak. "Huh? A ship? You're not going to torture me?"

You chuckle. "I dunno, maybe."

He looks a bit afraid, but turns to the ship up on the hill over there. "Well, as planetary chairman I could arrange for you to burrow our courier ship."

"Cool!" Ratchet grins.

"You can count on us, sir."

"Right." Ratchet drags out the word. "Thank you…your…chairmanshipliness." Wow, good job, Ratchet.

You take the bridge, and then the elevator platform. You take out your iPod. You don't want to ruin your record of listening to music every single day for the past three years. Once you reach the ship, the three of you climb in, and you examine the planets you've found so far. "So, we've got Kerwan, Aridia, and Novalis. We need to head to Kerwan if we're gonna catch up to Qwark." You say, scrolling through your songs.

"But we should find out if Skidd and his agent are okay." Clank says. You and Ratchet nod. Qwark will hopefully still be there when you're done at Aridia. You sit back as the engine roars to life, and you take off. Man, your battery is half-way done. You need to find a charger. Maybe you can get one at Al's Robbo Shack.

_In the night, I hear 'em talk_

_The coldest story ever told_

_Somewhere far along this road he lost his soul_

_To a woman so heartless._

_How could you be so heartless?_

_How could you be so heartless?_

_How could you be so cold?_

_As the winter wind when it breeze, yo._

_Just remember that you talkin' to me, though._

_You need to watch the way you talkin' to me though._

_I mean, after all the things that we've been through._

_I mean, after all the things we got into._

_Hey yo, I know of some things that you ain't told me._

_Hey yo, I did some things but that's the old me._

_And now you wanna get me back, and you gon' show me._

_So you walk around like you don't know me_

_You got a new friend?_

_Well, I got homies._

_But in the end, it's still so lonely._

_In the night I hear 'em talk, _

_The coldest story ever told_

_Somewhere far along this road, he lost his soul_

_To a woman so heartless._

_How could you be so heartless?_

_How could you be so heartless?_

_How could be so Dr. Evil?_

_You're bringin' out a side of me that I don't know._

_I decided we wasn't goin' speak so,_

_Why we up 3 a.m. on the phone?_

_Why does she be so mad at me for?_

_Homie, I don't know, she's hot and cold._

_I won't stop, won't mess my groove up,_

_'Cause I already know how this thing go._

_You run and tell your friends that you're leavin' me._

_They say that they don't see what you see in me._

_You wait a couple months then you gon' see,_

_You'll never find nobody better than me._

_In the night I hear 'em talk,_

_The coldest story ever told_

_Somewhere far along this road he lost his soul_

_To a woman so heartless._

_How could you be so heartless?_

_How could you be so heartless?_

_Talkin', talkin', talkin' talk._

_Baby let's just knock it off._

_They don't know what we been through._

_They don't know 'bout me and you._

_So I got somethin' new to see,_

_And you just gon' keep hatin' me,_

_And we just gon' be enemies._

_I know you can't believe_

_I could just leave it wrong,_

_And you can't make it right._

_I'm gon' take off tonight,_

_Into the night._

_In the night I hear 'em talk, _

_The coldest story ever told_

_Somewhere far along this road he lost his soul_

_To a woman so heartless._

_How could you be so heartless?_

_How could you be so heartless?_

Arriving on the planet, it's not a pretty sight. Defiantly not what you thought it would be. It's sandy, but it's rather dark, and it's not very hot or cold. So you're walking around looking like something out of the Candy Kingdom for no reason. Oh well. You'll fix your makeup once you get back on the ship.

You turn the corner, and you find some dude near a busted ship. "It's him!" Ratchet says, as the three of you walk up to him. "Skidd McMarx!"

"In the flesh, little dude." Skidd smiles. Wow, he dresses like he's a surfer from the 70s, with his sandals and his tie-dye shirt. "You guy get a load of the epic space battle I was in?"

You scoff. "Epic? Definitely not the word I'd use to describe it."

Ratchet nodded. "We saw you-screaming for help."

Skidd doesn't some to know how to explain that. "Um…that was like a war cry." Oh, the bullshit meter is way up there now. "My agent and I got ambushed on the way to hoverboard practice."

"Did he survive the crash, sir?" Clank asks.

Skidd shrugs him off. "Ah, he's okay. But, I've had a little trouble getting back to my ship…due to my sprained ankle." You see a little red monster thing run past you.

Ratchet rolls his eyes. "Oh, come on."

"I can't believe you expect us to buy that bullshit." You growl.

Skidd shakes his head. "If you can take out all of the Sandsharks, I just might have a spare hoverboard for ya."

"We'd love to help you, Mr. McMarx-" Clank begins, but you cut him off.

"I wouldn't." You mutter.

"But Ratchet, Berri, and I need to find Captain…"

Now it's Ratchet who cuts him off. You feel bad; the two of you keep interrupting Clank. He can't even finish his sentence. "One of _your_ boards? Hm…I always wanted a decent hoverboard. Well…alright. You just keep that foot elevated."

You roll your eyes, but laugh in response. You take a different direction than Ratchet and Clank, and since with Sandsharks, you've got no risk of injuring yourself, you can actually take care of them yourself. You don't know how many they are-were, anyway-but it doesn't take much to get rid of them. Just a few punches and kicks. You almost feel like a bully…until of the little ankle bitters…actually bites you on the ankle. You shout, and slam it into the rock. Well, it burns more than anything else. It doesn't look like it got too deep. You'll be fine.

Actually, you're limping. But it doesn't seem too noticeable.

You meet up with Ratchet, Clank, and Skidd. Skidd reaches into the crashed pod and pulls out something that looks almost exactly like a skateboard, except with any wheels, obviously. It's silver, and it…kinda looks like Roxas' skateboard. "Here man, catch!" He throws it to Ratchet, who's all too overjoyed to have it.

"A brand new Z-3000! You can't even buy these!"

You smile. "Nice." Man, your ankle burns. Little fucker, good thing you smashed it against the wall. Bastard.

Skidd turns around. "Well, I gotta bail. Catch you dudes and dudette at the hoverboard races."

You roll your eyes before you, Ratchet, and Clank through the wreckage.

Bad part is, if the injury hurts, you're not unconscious.

What the f-

**Ratchet's POV:**

You know, Berri's kinda hot. Most girls never talk to you, but she seemed pretty relaxed. And she can move. She's definitely brave. She and Clank are…different. You've never actually had a friend before. You wonder what their lives are like. Berri hasn't actually said anything about herself, and…is she limping?

Clank was thinking the same thing. "Berri, what happened to your leg?"

She looks down at her ankle-she knows exactly what he's talking about-and mutters, "Damn."

**Your POV:**

Shit. It must've been more obvious than you thought. "Sandshark bit me." You explain. "It's no big deal. A little bit of nanotech, and I'll be fine." It's really more irritating than anything else. "Besides, we gotta find that agent guy and then get to Kerwan."

Proceeding, you fortunately find some nanotech, and it…feels like ice going into your veins, but it fully heels the wound, and it doesn't even leave a scar, thank God.

Good thing the wound's healed, because you need full use of your legs for the firestarters, these robots that use fire as a weapon…oh, if they burn your clothes, they are gonna face hell. First of all, this is your favorite of your favorite band; second of all, it'd be like impossible to replace it around here, unless there's a Hot Topic on Kerwan.

Finding the agent guy is total hell. Robots, pipes, climbing, and always run the risk of snapping your heel. You need to hurry up and fix your makeup; nobody likes cotton candy eyes; your eyes are like sticking, which makes just blinking uncomfortable.

You're…kind of homesick. You really miss your parents. Even if you are unconscious and in a dream, it's still so lifelike. You still can't talk to them. And you miss your friends. Jenna, Kaitlyn, and Linda must be worried sick. Even if you are the bitch girls, you still care about each other. You've been friends all your lives…you don't know what you'd do without them, especially Linda. Who knows what would've happened if she and Luke hadn't been there when Caspian tried to drug you. They don't violence against their friends very well.

You're zoning out, you need to focus.

You finally find the agent, but it doesn't look too happy to see you. He gives a shout of frustration. "No signal whatsoever! This downtime is killing me!"

"Do you need medical attention, sir?" Clank obviously doesn't get it. Well, technically, he's only like…yeah, a few hours old, so he probably wouldn't, robot or not.

The agent points his finger at Clank. "Don't be so literal, son. The problem is I'm stranded on this backwater planet and my star client is nowhere to be found."

Realization comes to Ratchet's face. "Hey," He says, dragging out the word. "We saw you on that infobot. You're Skidd's agent!"

"Was Skidd's agent," The man corrects. "Haven't seen him since our ship crashed, and an agent without a client is like a flea without a dog." Ew, you hate fleas, they're so gross and ugly. "Say, you look like a couple of athletic kids. If you can bring back the Championship prize from the hoverboard races in Blackwater City, I'll make you both my next stars." Your mom warned you about guys like this; no wonder he captured agents to fleas. They're both bloodsuckers.

Clank shakes his head. "We have no time for trivial matters, sir."

Ratchet smiles. "I could be the next Skidd McMarx!"

"_The truest characters of ignorance are vanity, and pride and arrogance."_

-Samuel Butler

You roll your eyes. You were already a celebrity. And besides, you're not that athletic, just had nine of gymnastics, bitch!

…Yeah, you miss TV too. And you're gonna miss the season finale of Once Upon A Time! You have to know what happened to Henry! Fuck! No more drinking and drugs before Sunday night!

The three of you use the teleporter thingy to get back to your ship (which is fucking scary, because it's darker than when you close your eyes and you're moving underground which starts a feeling in your stomach), and you realize that your iPod is almost dead. Well, maybe you'll be able to find a charger on Kerwan or in Blackwater City or something…but you just hope you can find one soon. You need your music!

That guy at the Robboshack should have something.

**Yeah, that's another update! Sorry this took me so long. Three of my teachers have already dumped final stuff on us. ;; Oh well, that means the year is almost over! I can go back to being nocturnal! I can stay up all night and drink Monster and avoid the sun and play video games until my eyes pop out of my skull. Yeah. And I'll be able to update more, because I won't have any homework. Just a month and a half to go.**

**And yes, I love Once Upon A Time.**


	4. Chapter IX: Romeo X Juliet

**Okay, so I'm terribly sorry about how late this update is, but…it is here. This chapter will have a twist, and it's going to be…interesting. **

**Chapter IV: Romeo X Juliet**

**Your POV:**

You decide to fuck it, and use your iPod, because if you don't find a charger for it, then the battery's gonna die even if you don't have your iPod on. So screw it. You're going to get as much out of your music as you can. The ship roars to life, and heads to Kerwan, you scrolling through your pictures and then realizing that you still had photos of Caspian, and all of your other exes; William, Vincent, Matt, Duncan, Chris, Michael (that Russian foreign exchange student), Tim, Kyle, and Arthur. None of them ended well, especially William and Caspian. Your breakups are never pretty, not for you, for him, or for any bystanders unlucky enough to fall witness to the screaming, shouting, name-calling, threats (on both sides) and in a few cases, tears on his side. You've just never found someone who…really fit you. You just end up hating all of them. You take this time to delete all of your pictures; you kept forgetting to do that; on your phone and your camera too. You wonder how many girlfriends Ratchet has had, if he's had any.

You land on the outside perimeter of the city. Wow, it reminds you of New York, which does not help the homesickness in the pit of your stomach. There are tall skyscrapers, and the streets are bustling with ships, air taxis, and flying cars. It looks like something out of the _Jetsons_. But you don't see any people around, or any sign of Al's Robboshack.

You follow Ratchet and Clank, and take a left. You come across some replica of him; it looks one of those things you'd find at an amusement park that would give people directions. Hey, and look at that, it talks. "Welcome to the Captain Qwark Fitness Course! If you're strong enough, fast enough, and clever enough to beat my fitness challenge, you will receive a reward from my head trainer. Simply make your way to the third island to complete the course. Good luck!" Then in that rushed way of speaking that you hear at the end of some commercials, it says, "Qwark Enterprises is not responsible for sprains, broken bones, snapped tendons, bruised egos, or accidental death incurred while taking the challenge." Of course not; though you don't really blame him, people can sue for anything these days.

"Excuse me Captain, but we have more pressing issues." …Wait, what? "We urgently need your assistance."

You try to hide your laugh by covering your mouth as Ratchet tries to explain that this Qwark is a robot. "Clank?"

"Yes?"

"Do you notice anything unusual about Captain Qwark?"

"Well, I find the fact that he has a spring where his legs should be to be quite puzzling."

"And why do you think that is?"

"Possibly an injury incurred while battling evil?"

"This isn't the real Captain Qwark, you numbskull! It's a robot!" You can't hold back your laughter anymore, and laugh at Clank's "oh".

"Clank," You chuckle. "If you could see your face."

You ascend onto the wall, climbing and bouncing back and forth,

"Need help?" Ratchet asks, holding out his arm for you. You nod, and take his hand, and he pulls you up next to him on the ledge.

You smile. "Thanks."

"No problem, dollface."

You raise an eyebrow. "Did you just call me 'dollface?'" You ask.

You see a little smirk on his face. "Yeah. Does it bug you?"

You respond with a small sly smile of your own. "Not in the slightest."

_I threw a wish in the well._

_Don't ask me; I'll never tell._

_I looked to you as it fell,_

_And now you're in my way._

_I'd trade my soul for a wish,_

_Pennies and dimes for a kiss._

_I wasn't looking for this, but now you're in my way._

_Your stare was holding,_

_Ripped jeans, skin was showing._

_Hot night, wind was blowing._

_Where you think you're going, baby?_

Okay, this probably isn't the best thing to do…no offense to him. He is technically an alien, but…then again, humans don't seem to exist here. And your race doesn't seem to bother him. And besides, it's been a while. And Caspian isn't here. And it is just harmless flirting, right? It's not like he's serious about you. It's probably just your looks anyway. Plus, it really just takes…interracial dating to a new degree. That's all. Okay, then it's settled. There's nothing wrong with this. And if there's anyone who thinks there is, they're just gonna have to get over it.

_Hey, I just met you-and this is crazy-but here's my number._

_So, call me maybe._

_It's hard to look right at you baby,_

_But here's my number._

_So, call me maybe._

_Hey, I just met you-and this is crazy-but here's my number._

_So, call me maybe._

_And all the other boys try to chase me, but here's my number._

_So, call me maybe._

You arrive at a building that has a robot holding a wrench above its head. You walk in, and you see there's a girl, human, at the counter talking to that guy from the Infobot. She turns to you, and you see she's a person you never thought you'd see again.

"_Jenna?"_

**Yes, yes, I know. Short chapter, long wait, and not even all that great. I'm really, very sorry, I am, but next chapter will be better, I promise! **

**Later!**


End file.
